Almost A Month

It has been almost a month since I have moved back into my father's home; my childhood home. The reasons for the move were many - a recent break up of a 10 year relationship, a not so recent unemployment status, my returning to college full-time at the age of 46, and lastly, but in no way least - my father is recuperating from some recent surgeries and I thought this is the place that I need to be. This is the place that I want to be, and if I am hearing my siblings (5)- they are glad I am here too.

The purpose for this Blog is two-fold - to act as somewhat of a journal for me as I go through all these dramatic changes in my life and to provide my siblings with the most up-to-date and detailed information regarding my father - rather than the individual phone calls where the information might change based on the day and time. So, basically, if they want to hear about Dad, they have to hear about me too!

I will keep this rather simple and over time include more and more detail - I just wouldn't want to lose you early on....

To repeat - I have moved back into my childhood home after an absence of 10 years. I moved out due to a relationship and have moved back in due to that same relationship.

The move was rather uneventful, but knowing my Dad I did ask that he perhaps would find himself more comfortable being somewhere other than the house when the move was occurring. He agreed and made himself scarce for the afternoon.

The movers did a fabulous job and the job was done in about 6 hours. It was rather costly though - in fact it cost almost the same as when Lucia and I moved from our apartment in Lake Hiawatha to the house in Mount Arlington - and we had so much more to move. I thought I was saving some money by bringing most of the incidentals - clothing, office supplies, art supplies, kitchen and other chotchkies. I probably shaved an hour off the moving time if not more - that would have made the cost outrageous!

But it is done, and there are only a handful of boxes that I need to still unpack. Many boxes are in storage in the attic closet and a few things are under the house.

I won't go into too much detail about school right now; suffice it to say that I am going full-time (15 credits) to Montclair State University http://www.montclair.edu/ and all is going well. The school is only three miles from home - so it is almost like living on campus! More to come on the observations of a 45ish year old student and her 18 year old counterparts...

Now, life with Dad....

Dad recently went through two surgeries. The first was to remove a growth from his upper back https://www.google.com/health/ref/graphic/9762 - after its removal the diagnosis was that it was malignant, but the doctor was confident that he removed it all.

After his first post-op visit the doctor said his back was healing nicely, but they wanted to do a CAT-scan to ensure they got it all. Post CAT-scan results showed that the surgery on his back was successful but they discovered a lump under his arm.

Long story short - he went back under the knife to remove the lump and they also recut his back to widen the area that they cleared last time - just as a precaution. The result - surgery went well and a perk was that they kept him in the hospital overnight due to his surgery beginning later than they thought. That is a perk because that he was in the right place for observation immediately following a surgery. The doctor placed a 'drain' in his underarm to drain the body of "lymph". Dad came home a bit tired, but no worse for the wear.

After a week he had a follow-up visit to determine how the wounds are healing.....and they were both healing well. The doctor took the drain out from under his arm. Over the last week Dad has had a horrible time trying to sleep. Often waking up late in the evening or early in the morning with much discomfort.

He thought his incision might not be healing as well as it should be. After his afternoon doctor visit today (10/22) he said the doctor (his regular doctor is on vacation - this was his brother that Dad saw) relieved some pain by draining some fluid from under his arm. The doctor also told him that he couldn't keep the drain in as it is possible it could cause an infection over time. So, Dad seems a bit relieved and hopefully will have a peaceful evening of rest.

This update, of course, was very short-hand and I will expand on it regularly over time - there are some wonderful stories that yield from this experience we are having: For example, how my Dad chose the doctor that he has, how his friend Bobbie has been by his side, how living with Dad (and his living with me) is an exercise in Love, how I can stuff his freezer and refridgerator with delights - not quite like Mary would, but still edible, living in this home and how the childhood memories are flooding back and how observing my father 'live his life' is an awe inspiring experience.

Stay with me - this is going to be interesting!