A Rose By Any Other Name.....

Greetings All,
Today Dad had a doctor's appointment. It was a routine checkup to follow-up on his surgery (underarm) and his back's healing progress. I offered to drive several times, but he insists on going on his own. Oh well, we will keep trying.

Dad is so cute, I didn't think I would see him until after his appointment because I had school during his visit and I thought I would be back after he went to bed. What is cute is that just minutes before I got home from school (8pm) Dad called my cell phone. I was literally 1/10 of a mile away. I tried to pick up the phone, but missed the button and hung up on him instead. I thought I would just wait unil I got home 30 seconds later. I heard the chime on my cell phone indicating that he left a message, I thought perhaps he needed me to pick up something at the store on my way home. I didn't listen to the message, but instead hustled into the house to see what it is my father needed from me.

I ran up to Central Command (Dad's room) and he swung around in his huge, too big for his room - but I am not going to tell him - office chair, looked at me over the top of his glasses in that fatherly way and said,
"Did you get my message?"
Me: "Up, no, I thought I would talk to you live, since you just left it."
Dad: "Well, I was very worried".
Me: "Tonight is my late night class - I come home at 8pm."
We both look at each other with a pause that spoke volumes.
Me: "I guess I should have left you a note letting you know approximately when I will be home. (I usually do this, I just was running out and left a note about something else).
Dad: "Yes, if you could do that, I was worried."
Me: "I am sorry Dad, I will do that going forward".
Katherine hangs her head down, slowly turns around and shuffles toward the stairs going up to the "tower" (my room).

He is so cute. I mean caring so much - he probably didn't once say to himself, well she is over 45 (barely), she can take care of herself, she will be home when she is home. He just thought that his favorite daughter (Ha! I can say that here, no one can fight it!) is not where she should be, home.

So, what was I saying, oh yeah, Dad had his doctors appointment today. And a reminder, this appointment was routine. Dad said the doctor gave him a clean bill of health. Back is still healing nicely and underarm had considerably less fluid build up than last week. The doctor said he didn't even need to drain it, he said it would drain on its own and there is nothing to be concerned with. Dad said he was feeling better today when he woke up and he slept a bit better than in the recent past. The doctor also said that he can start exercising a bit and he doesn't need to come in again for a whole month! Now that is good news.

Dad is going to try to get to the indoor pool at the recreation center in Verona/Caldwell.

I have a short, but related story to tell and then I will let you go about your business.

When we were all about highschool age (70's) our family car was a Volkswagon van. A hideous pea-green, highly recognizable, box of a car that we got around in. My Dad seemed to have a propensity for VW's. Not sure why, I think I remember him saying that the German's were great mechanics. My Dad had that car for some time before its demise. In fact, it didn't even die, he sold it to my cousin Bryan.

Now it was time for Dad to by a new car. A car that would be all his. No kids with learner's permits, no holiday gatherings to get to stuffing us all in as if we were clowns in a VW Bug, just him. The last car Dad had to himself was a VW Carmengia. We couldn't fit in that little thing anyway.

Dad did his research and narrowed his choices down to two different makes and models. He drove down Bloomfield Avenue into the Caldwell's where the local car dealerships are lined up. Now, no one knows, except for Dad, exactly how this story goes, but legend has it that when Dad took one look at the young man that would be selling him a car in one of the dealerships, his mind was made up. My father bought the Ford Taurus. I am sure he was quite the easy sell. I am not sure if my father told the salesman why he picked the Taurus, or why he trusted him with this important purchase.

You see the salesman had on a tie that was Irish in theme. I am not sure if it was a St. Patrick's Day tie or if it had clovers on it, or if it was even anywhere near the holiday itself, but one look at that tie and my father's 'trust' instinct kicked in and he felt safe.

Why did I tell that story. Because my father is creature of habit. Predictable, steadfast, decisive.

When it came time to choose the doctor/s that would care for him during his recent medical situation - he seemed to take the same philosophy in choosing his doctor that he did that Ford Taurus. No, it has nothing to do with a tie, this is better and just as adorable, and oh so like Dad.

His regular doctor sent him to the hospital to get the diagnosis on his back. The hospital gave him several choices of local doctors to choose from to take him through the procedures and all follow-up care pertaining to his condition. I am going to exagerate just a bit. Imagine the list had the following names on it:

Dr. Smith
Dr. Jones
Dr. White
Dr. Barbalinardo
Dr. Cole

Who do you think he chose? Who, by just the name, sounded as if he came from a legacy of sculptors, artists, or great architects of famed cathedrals? Yup, he chose the Barbalinardo brothers of Montclair.




And once again, like the Taurus that lasted my father almost a decade, he chose well.
Way to go pops.

A rose...

Almost A Month

It has been almost a month since I have moved back into my father's home; my childhood home. The reasons for the move were many - a recent break up of a 10 year relationship, a not so recent unemployment status, my returning to college full-time at the age of 46, and lastly, but in no way least - my father is recuperating from some recent surgeries and I thought this is the place that I need to be. This is the place that I want to be, and if I am hearing my siblings (5)- they are glad I am here too.

The purpose for this Blog is two-fold - to act as somewhat of a journal for me as I go through all these dramatic changes in my life and to provide my siblings with the most up-to-date and detailed information regarding my father - rather than the individual phone calls where the information might change based on the day and time. So, basically, if they want to hear about Dad, they have to hear about me too!

I will keep this rather simple and over time include more and more detail - I just wouldn't want to lose you early on....

To repeat - I have moved back into my childhood home after an absence of 10 years. I moved out due to a relationship and have moved back in due to that same relationship.

The move was rather uneventful, but knowing my Dad I did ask that he perhaps would find himself more comfortable being somewhere other than the house when the move was occurring. He agreed and made himself scarce for the afternoon.

The movers did a fabulous job and the job was done in about 6 hours. It was rather costly though - in fact it cost almost the same as when Lucia and I moved from our apartment in Lake Hiawatha to the house in Mount Arlington - and we had so much more to move. I thought I was saving some money by bringing most of the incidentals - clothing, office supplies, art supplies, kitchen and other chotchkies. I probably shaved an hour off the moving time if not more - that would have made the cost outrageous!

But it is done, and there are only a handful of boxes that I need to still unpack. Many boxes are in storage in the attic closet and a few things are under the house.

I won't go into too much detail about school right now; suffice it to say that I am going full-time (15 credits) to Montclair State University http://www.montclair.edu/ and all is going well. The school is only three miles from home - so it is almost like living on campus! More to come on the observations of a 45ish year old student and her 18 year old counterparts...

Now, life with Dad....

Dad recently went through two surgeries. The first was to remove a growth from his upper back https://www.google.com/health/ref/graphic/9762 - after its removal the diagnosis was that it was malignant, but the doctor was confident that he removed it all.

After his first post-op visit the doctor said his back was healing nicely, but they wanted to do a CAT-scan to ensure they got it all. Post CAT-scan results showed that the surgery on his back was successful but they discovered a lump under his arm.

Long story short - he went back under the knife to remove the lump and they also recut his back to widen the area that they cleared last time - just as a precaution. The result - surgery went well and a perk was that they kept him in the hospital overnight due to his surgery beginning later than they thought. That is a perk because that he was in the right place for observation immediately following a surgery. The doctor placed a 'drain' in his underarm to drain the body of "lymph". Dad came home a bit tired, but no worse for the wear.

After a week he had a follow-up visit to determine how the wounds are healing.....and they were both healing well. The doctor took the drain out from under his arm. Over the last week Dad has had a horrible time trying to sleep. Often waking up late in the evening or early in the morning with much discomfort.

He thought his incision might not be healing as well as it should be. After his afternoon doctor visit today (10/22) he said the doctor (his regular doctor is on vacation - this was his brother that Dad saw) relieved some pain by draining some fluid from under his arm. The doctor also told him that he couldn't keep the drain in as it is possible it could cause an infection over time. So, Dad seems a bit relieved and hopefully will have a peaceful evening of rest.

This update, of course, was very short-hand and I will expand on it regularly over time - there are some wonderful stories that yield from this experience we are having: For example, how my Dad chose the doctor that he has, how his friend Bobbie has been by his side, how living with Dad (and his living with me) is an exercise in Love, how I can stuff his freezer and refridgerator with delights - not quite like Mary would, but still edible, living in this home and how the childhood memories are flooding back and how observing my father 'live his life' is an awe inspiring experience.

Stay with me - this is going to be interesting!